So I'm lying in bed, it's almost 12 am on Friday morning. I'm browsing through Instagram, and I come across an adorable blogger, sharing her experience of finding out she was pregnant. It brought back all sorts of sweet memories from when I found out I was pregnant with Sami. It was one of the happiest moments in my entire life!
What stood out to me, above anything in the post, was that she and her husband wanting to wait a few years before they took the plung and began having children. In contrast, Omar and I took a completely different route and I got pregnant with an (almost) honeymoon baby. Now Sami wasn't exactly a honeymoon babe, but I did find out I was pregnant barely 2 months after we got married. I had just turned 20 years old.
Before I go on, let me share that I have no regrets, and I would never do it differently. But I will go on to say that being a mom at 20 years old is specifically challenging. Parenthood itself is challenging, just add to it, the fact that I was are barely out of your teenage years, newly married, and trying to figure this whole process out.
I grew up playing baby dolls, playing mommy, cooking in my little play kitchen, and caring for my "children" whether stuffed or plastic. When I became a mom, I obviously knew it would be harder than raising my little toys, but I still imagined a bit more of a euphoric experience... I was in for a rude awakening. My mom and dad shared all they could with me to prepare, and according to them, I was a pretty easy baby. Therefore, I assumed that I would have an easy baby! I was dead wrong! I had a baby that cried ALL the time, struggled so hard to nurse, which, in turn, caused me excruciating pain and two cases of mastitis. I would sit and cry in pain while nursing for four hour periods at a time because, when Sami screaming was the only other option, it seemed worth it. And this went on for longer than I thought I could endure! But in my weakness God's grace met me in a very dark hour. We endured, and I have a very happy baby thanks to Jesus, and a chiropractor. We even endured with breastfeeding, and I am still nursing successfully at almost 14 months.
Now, I share all that so that you could fully comprehend what's going through my mind tonight... I was 20 years old at the beginning of this journey, and there is no doubt in my mind that had I been older, I may have seen this whole difficult (pretty much awful, just being honest) scenario a bit differently. But now looking back it helped aid and mature me as a mom and even as a wife and Christian. Unfortunately, I am finding that for many moms my age, or within the 10 years, we have gotten lost in the cell-phone obsessed, tv watching, commitmentless, broken generation. And this is what we are raising our kids in!
We are practically forced to raise our children in a generation where it is completely social media driven where no one has thick enough skin to even take some sort of criticism, and disciplining is looked at as wrong. As a mom these things concern me! And I can't believe that I'm having to raise my kid in a generation where things are so wild! The civil unrest, the racial tension driven primarily by the media, and the fact that no one can take a critical word anymore! And the only reaction to correction is offence. I know that some of you may disagree with me, and that's OK. I'm not out to please every reader. I'm just out to be honest with what I feel like it's going on in my generation. If this is the way my generation is, how much scarier will it be when our children are growing up!
There is a level of maturity, due to time and experience that I may not have fully experienced as a young mom yet. But when I see the way our world is going, I just want to protect my son. I want him to know I value him more than my phone, more than Instagram, more than Pinterest and Facebook. I want him to know that he is my ministry, my priceless investment. I want him to know he matters more than any passing fad. He matters more than the latest styles, the latest skin care.
I know many of you moms can relate. It's hard to protect the kiddos. It's a full time job to invest fully into their lives, but it is worth every sacrifice. So for those of you struggling, for those of you trying to figure parenthood out, keep it up. You will never achieve "perfect" parent status, and that is 100% okay! You don't need to be perfect, just invested and careful! Instead of letting your kiddos watch tv while grocery shopping, walk them through the process! Let them get stuff you need off the shelf, teach them basic life skills! Let them walk around the store, and take the time to teach them what's okay to touch and what's a "no no." Instead of setting them in front of some cartoons, read them a book. Let them play in the dirt (super healthy, btw), let them take nature walks. Be the teacher, and let the world be your class room.
It isn't always the convient choice, but often times, anything worth doing doesn't come easy. Teach, train, discipline (in love) and set boundaries. The most secure children I've ever met have clear boundaries, and have a healthy respect for everyone. The greatest joy for me as a parent has been when people have come to me and told me that my child is so respectful and sweet. As a mom that's huge. And I know you can relate!
I write this to inspire parents everywhere to keep up the good work! Continue investing, continue showing your children that they matter, continue to help them grow and mature, as YOU continue to grow and mature. One of the neatest, and most challenging, things for me as a mom has been maturing as my son is maturing too. I handle situations differently than I would have a year ago, and I am greatful for a heart that is still sitting in the seat of a learner. I pray I always remain that way. Had I always had it easy, or convinced myself I had it figured out, would I be raising Sami the way I am now? I don't know. But I know that every experience, every trial, it has been a blessing, sometimes in disguise.
Be grateful for the bumps in the road, be grateful for the craziness, be grateful for even the really hard times, because you are still learning, just as they are. Growing as a family is probably one of the most important things you could ever do. Don't be afraid to grow.
Thank yall for the support, the love, and the encouragement you've shown me to keep this blog moving forward!
Golden State Livin'. Southern Charm. Jesus Lover. Wifey. Mommy. Style Enthusiast. Thrifter.
New York Native. Bama Life. Style/Beauty Consultant. Entrepreneur.